Feeling uplifted and worn out at the same time

Worked at Bookkeeping office today. The people are really friendly and the office has a casual, relaxed vibe which I'm really grateful for. This is my second week and so, far is 2 days a week. I hope it picks up to 3 days a week. Fingers crossed.

Found it difficult to get my backside out of bed this morning to do a workout but managed to motivate myself this afternoon by picturing myself in a wedding dress.......looking fantastic!

I'm feeling worn out now but it's a good feeling. It feels like I'm actually achieving something and my life is moving forward.

I am really into the nesting mode and have been reading lots of blogs on decorating and entertaining. In particular the Pepper Design blog and Young House Love blog. I can't wait to get into our new home and start entertaining (our unit is too small) and decorating. I'm thinking of getting some practice in with just setting our little 2 seater table for dinner. This is our dining area..........

Entrance table...........

And storage in the entrance at the opposite end to the dining table............

As you can see, it needs A LOT of work to get it presentable, The entrance is actually an enclosed patio but I think that it could look somewhere between ok and decent if I put in some effort.

This is the plan:

• Put shoe rack into garage and put commonly used shoes into some sort of container to go under the hall table or to the side of the door.
• Get a secondhand curtain/calico and hang to cover storage.
• Put nicer decorations on top of hall table (not sure what yet).
• Get/make slipcovers for chairs (may be a little ambitious but what the hey).
• Ditch black iron candle holder thing on the wall for 3 pictures.
• Hang new curtains near dining table.
• Put floor lamp in the garage.
• Clear out the clutter.

Stay tuned for updated photos.

Day 1 of 30 DAY SHRED

Well, I did it! I made it through day 1 of the 30 day shred!

I even ate really well and up until my boyfriend got me a coke, I was on fire!

Bring it on!!!

I have been VERY, VERY slack!

I have been avoiding writing in this blog because it's kind of like eating off of someone else's plate....the calories don't count.

You see, I have been stuffing my face with 'naughty' foods and slacking on the exercise cause avoiding writing about it makes it feel ok. The calories don't count.

So, I've been going nowhere on the weight loss front, but I have picked up some work. I haven't gotten any temp work but I did get a casual job doing data entry for a bookkeeping company that Scott uses. I was freakin on my first day cause I didn't want to stuff up and make not only an embarrassment of myself, but of Scott. Luckily, I was able to suck it up and get on with things.

Now that I have the 'work' situation somewhat under control, I need to get the study, weight loss and housework under control as well.

For the weight loss side of things, I'm going to do the 'Gillian Michaels 30 Day Shred' DVD along with dieting.

You do level 1 for 10 days, followed by level 2 for 10 days and finally, level 3 for the last 10 days. That is NO REST DAYS!! 

I tell you, it better work cause that is a hell of a lot of workouts in a small amount of timeframe.

Practice Wedding Makeup

There was no phone call last night so there was no work today. Although I don't want to work, I do need the money so its a catch 22.

Instead I watched the wedding day makeup tutorial on the Makeup Geek website and practiced the eye makeup part of it on myself.

I don't have the exact right tools and makeup but this is what I came up with.....

With sunlight on my face.

Out of sunlight

Looking down.

This last photo really shows up the dodgy filling in my front tooth that REALLY bad dentist botched up.

I hate, hate, hate it!

I spent 3 years wearing invisalign braces only to have my beautiful straight, white teeth ruined by an inexperienced dentist in Varsity Lakes. I had to go to another dentist to get it fixed because he left it so bad it gave me an infection.

So, after looking at this photo, this is what I would like to change:

• Veneers on the front teeth to cover filling
• Lines around my eyes (need to drink more water to re-hydrate)
• Thiner face, less chubbiness in the cheeks and get rid of 'piggy' eyes
• Reduce/cover blemishes on the left side of face from sun damage
• Plump top lip
• Generally more even looking skin tone 

Still no phone call from the agency, guess there will be no work tomorrow either. hmmmmm

Fear and Anxiety

Today is officially my last day of study(though I still have a ways to go) and I have notified the temp agency that I am available for casual work as of tomorrow.

In this lead up to this date, I have been feeling scared and anxious. I have been in the workforce since I was 15 but for some reason, I'm really nervous, anxious and scared about returning to work. I guess the fact that I don't know where I will be working and what I'll be doing doesn't help. I'm a bit of a home body. I don't like large crowds and I'm no good at standing up for myself. If I can avoid confrontation I will.

Does anyone else experience this irrational fear?

On paper, there is no reason for me to be feeling this way, I mean, I have been doing office admin temping for the past 2 years, so its not like I have been working for the one company for years doing the exact same thing and working with the same people.

I am absolutely dreading the first day of each new job!

Why temping you ask? Well originally it seemed like a good idea because I wanted some flexibility with work eg. I could just simply tell them what dates I wasn't available. It was going well as I always had work and full time hours on casual pay is nice. Now, I am going back to it because I haven't been able to find a casual job close to home and it seemed best to stick with the agency while I'm finishing up my studies and waiting to move up to the top end. Then, when I am ready to look for full time, bookkeeping work, I can do so without hassle... Well, that's the plan.

A side effect of this anxiety is that I have been eating A LOT of junk food and sugary drinks (including alcohol) and I have stacked the weight back on. I also have my suspicions that all this crap food and lack of exercise is actually adding to my anxiety.

I know I can't be the only person that has had to deal with these emotions and there has to be someone else that has felt the same dread about work that I do. This is really, really horrible to admit, but I wish that my partner was rich enough to afford for me to not go to work. I mean, I'm happy to help him out with his business, I just don't want to have to face the day-to-day office politics.

Is there anyone else in the same boat as me?

The trials and tribulations of engagement

Ahh, the joys of planning a wedding!

Scott and I had an argument about the wedding arrangements last night.

I have been using an event planner to locate suitable venues and organise the site inspections. So far, I have seen two venues (only one of which Scott was able to come to).

His mother was eager to look at venues when they next visited (which was to be this Thur/Fri/Sat and Sun) so I asked the planner to organise site inspections for the 3 venues she had suggested over this weekend.
I tried talking with Scott about it at the time but he got shitty and told me he didn't want to talk about 'wedding stuff' at the moment.

So, when I got the email through to confirm site inspections for Friday, Scott told me he wont be able to make it (and why didn't I arrange a better time with him before) and his parents aren't coming down after all!! Leaving just myself to go look. well.. no thanks.

Then, when I tried to go over the guest list and schedule for the day, Scott cracked at me saying I should be paying my attention to studies instead of wedding stuff. So, I agreed. I got my wedding magazines and the paperwork and dumped it all in the garbage bin. I then emailed the co-ordinater and told her to cancel the appointments.

I'm going to focus on my studies and Scott can take care of the wedding arrangements.

This is going to be interesting.....

Tuesday tone up exercise

I found a DVD at the library on exercising using a fit-ball. I did the 'Legs, Bum & Tum' section this morning and boy did I feel sore afterwards!

I'm going to aim to do this workout once a week, along with my usual exercise.

Weight loss progress photos

Every Monday, I am going to post progress photos of myself in a yellow bikini and also wearing a skirt and top that I once wore in public (and looked good in), many, many moons ago.

WARNING!!!

The following photos could cause sickness. 

I know I felt sick when I saw them.

Through the eyes of a child

I spent this fathers day with my sister and my two wonderful nieces, Shyla and Kiana.










I took my camera with me and let them take pictures. This is what the world looks like through the eyes of a child, at home.......






















and then on a drive to Target.

I love you girls!!!!!

Makeover motivation

When thinking about women to emulate for a makeover, Princess Mary popped into my head. She is the ultimate transformation of ordinary to extraordinary.

So, I've been reading up on her transformation to 'style princess'. Of course, she is an extreme example. But it is inspiring nonetheless.