Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!

Its christmas eve and I'm not exactly full of christmas cheer.

Instead of christmas trees......

I'm thinking of money trees...

Or the lack thereof.

The problem is that without money, I cannot put a roof over my head, food in my mouth, clothes on my back (its embarrassing when people comment on how you are always wearing the same clothes) petrol in my car, pay for my car!

add to the mix the joy of christmas (and the cost) and it becomes a very miserable time of year.

I am trying to focus on the fact that it is a celebration of Jesus and his birth, but that sick feeling in my gut wont go away, and neither will the bills.

Oh well, Merry Christmas everyone. Here's hoping that next christmas has a little more joy.

Wedding dress design dilema

I have been looking at lots of different style of wedding dresses and trying on some different ones here and there and to be honest....the fun is starting to be chocked out of the whole thing.

I can't wait to get the dress because then I can stop thinking about stuff like necklines, fabrics, silhouettes etc.

I've narrowed it down (for now) to a dress with both lace AND satin so that I get the elegance and sexiness of the satin as well as the romance and vintage look of lace.

Here is the dress that gave me the idea....

The alterations would be changing it from strapless to halterneck....

And lowering the back to dip like in this photo...

The only problem is, I want to get it made to fit my measurements when I'm a size 6/8 not 10/12, so I'm going to have to wait until the new year before I can get it made. Cutting it fine I know but there you have it.

Wedding Day Hairstyles

I've been looking at different hairstyles for the wedding and now I am torn between:

A)  Half-up with volume on the top and with the hair pinned somehow so that it falls over one shoulder.

B)  Pulled back into a bun.

These are some of the images I've saved to show the hairdresser -

Trip to Bundaberg

Scott and I went to Bundaberg recently for a friends birthday party.

I have to say, I spent many years longing to get out of that town, so going back is never much fun. It's just a dull, boring and bland town.

Early in the morning, just before we left the Gold Coast

A quick stop for some caffeine.

Scott just had to stop for a thickshake from a place called "SEXIE COFFIE"

We finally made it to Bundaberg in time for breakfast. Then that afternoon, we went to the party. It was themed 'Octoberfest' and there were some interesting costumes. I didn't dress up this year because a. don't have the money for a costume and b. don't have the body for a short, short dress.

Thank goodness were didn't stay in Bundaberg for long.

View of the locals on the road out of Bundaberg.

Fuelling up before we leave.

Scott was happy to have TWO coconut rough chocolates.

And I was just happy to be going home.

The Celebrant is booked!

Scott and I met with the celebrant today.

We were both really pleased with the celebrants personality and the ideas he had for different ways to conduct the ceremony to make the guests feel included without any of the 'ick' factor.

Now we just need to look at the different vow options and choose what we want to say. ahhh the lovey dovey part :)

My struggles with diet and exercise

I did it! I actually got up at 5am and did the 'shred' workout. Then managed to avoid junk food all day. Even though the girls ordered Oporto for lunch .....and I love Oporto burgers!!!!!

At the end of the day, I still had plenty of energy so I went for a brisk walk at 6.30pm after dinner. God it felt good to get moving and listen to up-beat music.

But........later on, Scott wanted some dinner and since we normally have takeaway, I hadn't planned ahead and cooked anything. So, I cooked him some salmon and sweet potato scallops (I sliced the sweet potato and par-boiled it then dipped it in a batter of flour and water and deep fried it. Unfortunately, I was a wee bit hungry and couldn't help 'tasting' some of the scallops.

So, lesson learned. Make sure I have a decent enough dinner so I'm not tempted to eat crap.

New Goals, New Start

I haven't been posting because I have been eating myself silly. All the naughty foods (and drinks) that make me look the way I do.

Because of this 'binge' eating, I put off posting because I didn't want to admit that I was being a pig.

I have really struggled today to not eat crap and so far, have succeeded. But, because I drank beer last night, I woke up with a headache and haven't done any exercise today. Instead of 'starting' tomorrow, I'm continuing on as planned.

Anyway, enough weight loss talk. Besides craving junk food, I've been cleaning out the kitchen cupboards and sorting through what I can pack now,  toss or keep in the kitchen until we move. I figure that if I sort through and pack up all the crap that we don't need for now, it won't be such a big mission when we move into the townhouse next year. Also, it makes me focus on the good stuff that's happening soon ie. moving into our own townhouse!

Num Num Num

Oops, looks like I have blown my diet this week.

Caffeine seems to be the culprit. Whenever I have some it make my sugar levels drop and the junk food cravings to skyrocket.

So, starting next week (yes, yes, I know I always say that but this time I mean it) I am ditching the caffeine and getting back into the swing of getting into shape.

I'm feeling very optimistic.

Thank god its FRIDAY!!!

Yay! I love Fridays.

Wasn't feeling up to exercising this morning so did my shred workout this afternoon. I really need to change this however, because it's easier to stick to a morning routine than an afternoon one. Feeling pretty positive. Can't wait to slip into size 8 clothes again.

Day 2 and I'm forgetting the rules already.

I started off really well today. Got up at 5.30am and did shred workout. Followed it up with a shake. Had yoghurt and a carrot for morning tea. Lunch was another shake. Drank lots of water throughout the day. But then........


Scott wanted to take me out to sushi for dinner. We were halfway there when I remembered that I'm not supposed to have rice on the celebrity slim shakes diet. Whoops. Stuffed myself with sushi cause I felt really hungry and then paid for it with an uncomfortably full stomach.

At least I didn't have the icecream that Scott offered to buy me afterwards.

Ohh, just remembered. Also had a piece of homemade caramel slice that a lady brought into work. Only because she put it on my desk and walked away. So it would have been rude to not eat it.....wouldn't it.

Welcome to Hell.

I WANT TO EAT YUMMY, SCRUMMY, NAUGHTY FOODS!!!

Bloody hell. This is really hard.

Did really well yesterday and avoided beer and softdrink when Scott and I went to the surfclub and instead sipped water. I even ordered a Thai Beef Salad instead of the usual Chicken Parmi. Sigh!

I have started the 30 Day Shred....again.  The sweat was dripping off of me but I did feel better afterwards. Now I need to keep it up for the next 29 days.

I don't know what I'm going to do about the trip to Bundy. We are leaving Saturday morning and coming back Monday. Am thinking I could do the workout on Sat morning before we leave, just do some basic exercise on the Sunday and do another shred workout Monday night. We'll see.

Manicures and pedicures

I have been neglecting my hands and feet for a loooooong time.

When I was a teenager, I used to pride myself on my hands and feet and did DIY manis and pedis every Sunday.

Now that I am trying to makeover my image, what better (and cheap) way to give myself some pampering as I work on improving my looks.

The finished result...

Friends Wedding

A long time friend was married in Bundaberg. This is the second wedding that Scott and I have attended this year. Luckily, my big sis Trina was able to come along for the ride.

We started getting a little silly....

The bride and groom cutting the cake.....

A VERY large muffin cake at the wedding....

Even though it was a backyard wedding, they still used sweet touches for decorations.....

Awwww, another lovely couple :)

Since this wedding, Scott and I have put the deposit down on our own wedding venue, happy dance!!

Jillian Andrews - 30 Day Shred & my Summer Slim Down plan

I've been very erratic with exercise and eating. One day I'm doing a 30 day shred workout and eating well, and the next I'm skipping the workout and eating junk and downing cans of softdrink like there's no tomorrow.


But.........


After looking at some weight loss clips on youtube, I've become inspired and motivated again. So, tomorrow is the official start day of my Summer Slim Down!


I'm going to start with doing the 30 day shred (properly) and then move onto mixed workouts that change every two weeks. Along with eating a low-fat, low-sugar diet.


I would like to go from this.......

To this...............

....wouldn't mind the lovely, golden tan either.

Beer, old movies and the internet

Kicking back with a beer, watching an old movie and looking up crap on the internet.

Its Saturday night and most people my age (I'm guessing) are out socialising and having a good time.

Woops! I guess I missed the memo because I'm quite enjoying just hanging out with myself as company (fiance is in other room watching TV). But I do wonder if this is because I don't feel confident in getting all dressed up and going out or if I really just prefer to hang out at home.

Well, I guess once I am more confident with my appearance, and have the clothes to go out in, then I will find out if I prefer being a social butterfly or coach potato on a Saturday night.

I'll let you know.....

Feeling uplifted and worn out at the same time

Worked at Bookkeeping office today. The people are really friendly and the office has a casual, relaxed vibe which I'm really grateful for. This is my second week and so, far is 2 days a week. I hope it picks up to 3 days a week. Fingers crossed.

Found it difficult to get my backside out of bed this morning to do a workout but managed to motivate myself this afternoon by picturing myself in a wedding dress.......looking fantastic!

I'm feeling worn out now but it's a good feeling. It feels like I'm actually achieving something and my life is moving forward.

I am really into the nesting mode and have been reading lots of blogs on decorating and entertaining. In particular the Pepper Design blog and Young House Love blog. I can't wait to get into our new home and start entertaining (our unit is too small) and decorating. I'm thinking of getting some practice in with just setting our little 2 seater table for dinner. This is our dining area..........

Entrance table...........

And storage in the entrance at the opposite end to the dining table............

As you can see, it needs A LOT of work to get it presentable, The entrance is actually an enclosed patio but I think that it could look somewhere between ok and decent if I put in some effort.

This is the plan:

• Put shoe rack into garage and put commonly used shoes into some sort of container to go under the hall table or to the side of the door.
• Get a secondhand curtain/calico and hang to cover storage.
• Put nicer decorations on top of hall table (not sure what yet).
• Get/make slipcovers for chairs (may be a little ambitious but what the hey).
• Ditch black iron candle holder thing on the wall for 3 pictures.
• Hang new curtains near dining table.
• Put floor lamp in the garage.
• Clear out the clutter.

Stay tuned for updated photos.

Day 1 of 30 DAY SHRED

Well, I did it! I made it through day 1 of the 30 day shred!

I even ate really well and up until my boyfriend got me a coke, I was on fire!

Bring it on!!!

I have been VERY, VERY slack!

I have been avoiding writing in this blog because it's kind of like eating off of someone else's plate....the calories don't count.

You see, I have been stuffing my face with 'naughty' foods and slacking on the exercise cause avoiding writing about it makes it feel ok. The calories don't count.

So, I've been going nowhere on the weight loss front, but I have picked up some work. I haven't gotten any temp work but I did get a casual job doing data entry for a bookkeeping company that Scott uses. I was freakin on my first day cause I didn't want to stuff up and make not only an embarrassment of myself, but of Scott. Luckily, I was able to suck it up and get on with things.

Now that I have the 'work' situation somewhat under control, I need to get the study, weight loss and housework under control as well.

For the weight loss side of things, I'm going to do the 'Gillian Michaels 30 Day Shred' DVD along with dieting.

You do level 1 for 10 days, followed by level 2 for 10 days and finally, level 3 for the last 10 days. That is NO REST DAYS!! 

I tell you, it better work cause that is a hell of a lot of workouts in a small amount of timeframe.

Practice Wedding Makeup

There was no phone call last night so there was no work today. Although I don't want to work, I do need the money so its a catch 22.

Instead I watched the wedding day makeup tutorial on the Makeup Geek website and practiced the eye makeup part of it on myself.

I don't have the exact right tools and makeup but this is what I came up with.....

With sunlight on my face.

Out of sunlight

Looking down.

This last photo really shows up the dodgy filling in my front tooth that REALLY bad dentist botched up.

I hate, hate, hate it!

I spent 3 years wearing invisalign braces only to have my beautiful straight, white teeth ruined by an inexperienced dentist in Varsity Lakes. I had to go to another dentist to get it fixed because he left it so bad it gave me an infection.

So, after looking at this photo, this is what I would like to change:

• Veneers on the front teeth to cover filling
• Lines around my eyes (need to drink more water to re-hydrate)
• Thiner face, less chubbiness in the cheeks and get rid of 'piggy' eyes
• Reduce/cover blemishes on the left side of face from sun damage
• Plump top lip
• Generally more even looking skin tone 

Still no phone call from the agency, guess there will be no work tomorrow either. hmmmmm

Fear and Anxiety

Today is officially my last day of study(though I still have a ways to go) and I have notified the temp agency that I am available for casual work as of tomorrow.

In this lead up to this date, I have been feeling scared and anxious. I have been in the workforce since I was 15 but for some reason, I'm really nervous, anxious and scared about returning to work. I guess the fact that I don't know where I will be working and what I'll be doing doesn't help. I'm a bit of a home body. I don't like large crowds and I'm no good at standing up for myself. If I can avoid confrontation I will.

Does anyone else experience this irrational fear?

On paper, there is no reason for me to be feeling this way, I mean, I have been doing office admin temping for the past 2 years, so its not like I have been working for the one company for years doing the exact same thing and working with the same people.

I am absolutely dreading the first day of each new job!

Why temping you ask? Well originally it seemed like a good idea because I wanted some flexibility with work eg. I could just simply tell them what dates I wasn't available. It was going well as I always had work and full time hours on casual pay is nice. Now, I am going back to it because I haven't been able to find a casual job close to home and it seemed best to stick with the agency while I'm finishing up my studies and waiting to move up to the top end. Then, when I am ready to look for full time, bookkeeping work, I can do so without hassle... Well, that's the plan.

A side effect of this anxiety is that I have been eating A LOT of junk food and sugary drinks (including alcohol) and I have stacked the weight back on. I also have my suspicions that all this crap food and lack of exercise is actually adding to my anxiety.

I know I can't be the only person that has had to deal with these emotions and there has to be someone else that has felt the same dread about work that I do. This is really, really horrible to admit, but I wish that my partner was rich enough to afford for me to not go to work. I mean, I'm happy to help him out with his business, I just don't want to have to face the day-to-day office politics.

Is there anyone else in the same boat as me?

The trials and tribulations of engagement

Ahh, the joys of planning a wedding!

Scott and I had an argument about the wedding arrangements last night.

I have been using an event planner to locate suitable venues and organise the site inspections. So far, I have seen two venues (only one of which Scott was able to come to).

His mother was eager to look at venues when they next visited (which was to be this Thur/Fri/Sat and Sun) so I asked the planner to organise site inspections for the 3 venues she had suggested over this weekend.
I tried talking with Scott about it at the time but he got shitty and told me he didn't want to talk about 'wedding stuff' at the moment.

So, when I got the email through to confirm site inspections for Friday, Scott told me he wont be able to make it (and why didn't I arrange a better time with him before) and his parents aren't coming down after all!! Leaving just myself to go look. well.. no thanks.

Then, when I tried to go over the guest list and schedule for the day, Scott cracked at me saying I should be paying my attention to studies instead of wedding stuff. So, I agreed. I got my wedding magazines and the paperwork and dumped it all in the garbage bin. I then emailed the co-ordinater and told her to cancel the appointments.

I'm going to focus on my studies and Scott can take care of the wedding arrangements.

This is going to be interesting.....

Tuesday tone up exercise

I found a DVD at the library on exercising using a fit-ball. I did the 'Legs, Bum & Tum' section this morning and boy did I feel sore afterwards!

I'm going to aim to do this workout once a week, along with my usual exercise.

Weight loss progress photos

Every Monday, I am going to post progress photos of myself in a yellow bikini and also wearing a skirt and top that I once wore in public (and looked good in), many, many moons ago.

WARNING!!!

The following photos could cause sickness. 

I know I felt sick when I saw them.

Through the eyes of a child

I spent this fathers day with my sister and my two wonderful nieces, Shyla and Kiana.










I took my camera with me and let them take pictures. This is what the world looks like through the eyes of a child, at home.......






















and then on a drive to Target.

I love you girls!!!!!